I have been struggling lately with the balance of family, my business, and just daily life overall. I never realized when I started this adventure how hard it really is. I never knew all the tiny little details, but oh-so-important aspects, of running a business. I didn't realize that I would be so exhausted that I wouldn't dream of picking up a camera to photograph my own kids (gasp!).
As I sat back and evaluated everything, I had another realization this month..... just BAM! and the epiphany hit me. I just CAN'T do everything. (I know, I know, shocking, right?)! But I also finally realized that it is OKAY!!!! It really is okay to not want to spend 24/7 with your children, you are not failing as a mother. It really is okay to have a career and business....and if you are so bold to put on the front that you have everything together then more power to you!!! I, however, am not....and not in the let's-be-funny sort of way, because I don't have everything together. No, I really don't.
The Huffington Post has 2 little "blurbs" going around....one is things not to say to a stay-at-home mom and the other is things not to say to a working mom. So what about those that are somewhere in-between? I am not going to lie-both posts kind of annoyed me, simply because as women, mothers, and people we always feel guilty no matter what we do. When we go to work then we must not want stay home with the kids. When we stay home then we are shunning the working mom. It is a debate that should not be relevant. This instills guilt and jealousy more then anything. We should be empowering each other as great moms rather then making each other feel inadequate due choices that we make about our family. I mean maybe I am the only one who has ever felt this way....like I hesitate to talk to the other moms at pre-school because (gasp!) because I always feel like I am the "late" mom or my kids hair is insane. Or Madelynn's face is still has syrup on it because we woke up at 8:23, I threw waffles at the girls, put Adelaide's hair up in a pony tail, somehow managed to dress all 3 of us and leave the house by 8:41 only to still be 7 minutes late for preschool....oh yeah school is less then a mile away. Why don't I walk? LOL. Don't even go there right now. :)
Why does there always have to be a side to everything? Why should there be arguments about what you do with your family? Why are there little blurbs on said sites that only add fuel to the fire, that we try so hard to put out?
I glanced through the window during Adelaide's dance class and saw the BIGGEST smile on her sweet little face, so big that I kind of wanted to cry :). I did not, but I knew, however, no matter what decisions that I make about motherhood, I am making the right one for me. I am doing the right thing for MY children (if anyone wants to argue that then they are obviously a little insane). So when you find yourself judging another person based on what you perceive on the outside, remember that you have no idea what is really going on inside. From this day forward, I will not compare my decisions to what I think are the appropriate, "acceptable", or right decisions.
I don't actually care if I am judged because my kids don't eat vegetables. They won't eat them! I have tried and they refuse. I don't care that I may or may not have had the chance to brush my hair or put on makeup....so that I "look" like I have it all together. I don't care if my house is messy sometimes....okay, A LOT of times!
I DO want to start taking better care of myself both physically and mentally. I DO want to get my house organized so that it doesn't take me 45 minutes to find my car keys. I DO need a break from my children. That does not make me a bad mother. We are not all made to be the same type of women, we all like our coffee a little differently. Some like tea. And here at the Scott household we are gonna dance. Everyday for at least 30 minutes, we will turn the TV off put in some good ol' CDs....and we dance. That's it. And the world will become a better place.
Hug your babies, love your choices, be proud of the mothers and women that you have become, because YOU are awesome. And when you get the choice to sit out or dance.....I hope you dance.